Orlando Furioso, XXIX

Buckle up sweeties because someone’s about to die!

That’s right.  One of the nine hundred named characters in this story is about to exit this story. Now there’s only nine hundred minus one named characters left in this story. Can you guess who it is?

When last we saw Rodomonte he was accosting the poor monk riding alongside Isabella (and Zerbino’s coffin). Rodomonte quickly has enough of the old man, grabs him by the beard, spins around three time ,and hurls him like a discus into the sea.

Monk dispatched, Rodomonte looks to assault Isabella and much is made of the Ugly Saracen trying to sully the virginal womanhood of Isabella. But Isabella has a crafty side, and she tells Rodomonte that if he doesn’t rape her, she’ll tell him all about this magic potion she knows how to make that will make the body impervious to blades. Rodomonte thinks whatever, I can wait, let’s make this potion. Herb-gathering commences, followed by potion crafting. Rodomonte gets drunk while Isabella cooks the brew. When she’s done she says, let me put some around my neck so you can try to chop off my head and see how good it works. Rodomonte says sure. Isabella anoints herself. Rodomonte swings.

And…

Isabella’s head bounces three times. She says “Zerbino” and dies. Ariosto extols her virtues and heaps her soul with praise. Rodomonte is overcome with emotions and has a great mausoleum built where Isabella and Zerbino can be entombed together. He also has a tower built beside a narrow bridge that crosses a ravine. He sets himself up there to challenge everyone that goes past. And so he does, and after a bit some wild-haired maniac approaches. 

It’s our boy Orlando, still doing the ole’ Furioso! 

Rodomonte tries to stop Orlando from crossing the bridge and Orlando doesn’t care. He punches out Rodomonte’s horse and takes to rassling with him. The two grunt and groan then both fall off the bridge. Orlando being unarmored exits the river first and continues on. (Up above unseen by both Fiordelisa sneaks across the bridge. Remember her? She’s still looking for her husband Brandimarte. Remember him?. 

Orlando rages on across the country and smashes people animals things. I think he even resorts to some cannibalism. At last he crawls into a hole to suffer, where he does. Until up rides his ex, Angelica, (well, they never dated and the whole relationship was in Orlando’s head) with her new boyfriend, Medoro. He leaps forth and off Angelica flees with Orlando in hot pursuit. Angelica’s afraid of what he’ll do if he catches her, so she puts on her ring of invisibility and hides while Orlando runs on, grabs her horse, and wears it around his shoulders like a lion’s skin. He then continues on screaming. 

Until next time, keep on screaming!

CANTO SCORE CARD

Knights: Rodomonte, Orlando

Damsels: Isabella, Fiordelisa, Angelica 

Commoners: a monk, Medoro, unlucky youths torn apart by Orlando