Orlando Furioso, Canto XLIV
We start with everyone in the hermit’s cell congratulating Ruggiero. When Rinaldo learns Ruggiero’s betrothed to his sister he’s delighted by the news. Unfortunately, Ariosto reveals the fact that their parents already pledged Bradamante’s hand to Leon, the Greek prince of Byzantium. Neither Rinaldo nor Bradamante’s knows about this yet, so Rinaldo has no reason not to be delighted.
I gotta hand it to Ariosto. He’s down to the last three cantos and he’s still going to introduce a love triangle.
Everybody goes back to France except Prester John who goes back to Africa. When he and his army get there all their magic boats and horses turn back into leaves and rocks. Astolfo flies back to France on the hippogriff, but releases it when he arrives there. This was part of his pledge to Saint John back in the Earthly paradise. His horn’s also lost its power. He reaches Marseilles just as everyone else is arriving. Charlemagne greets them all and there’s much rejoicing. The war’s over. The Christians have won. Everything is great, until Rinaldo mentions to his dad how happy he is to have Ruggiero as a brother-in-law. And that’s when the truth is revealed. Ruggiero’s practically a beggar. Bradamante can’t marry him. They’ve arranged her marriage to Prince Leon.
This triggers all sorts of trouble. Bradamante and Ruggiero get mopey and depressed, because of course they do. Rinaldo and Bradamante can’t disobey their parents. Still, Bradamamnte goes to Charlemagne and gets him to agree that no man may marry her unless they defeat her in battle. This angers her parents who drag Bradamamnte off to one of their fortresses. And this sends Ruggiero spiraling, and being the man of violence he is he figures the only way to solve this problem is to go to Greece and kill Prince Leon.
Leon and his dad are at the moment waging war on the Bulgars and doing all right. The Bulgars are nearly crushed, and would have been if not for Ruggiero showing up during the decisive battle. He rallies the Bulgars and sends the Greeks running. Unfortunately he can’t get his hands on either Prince Leon or his dad. But all his violence impresses Prince Leon, and the Prince falls in love with Ruggiero. Now that’s kinky! The Bulgars plan on giving their kingdom to Ruggiero, but he takes off after Leon before they can. They both take shelter in the same city. The ruler of it gets word to King Constantine, saying the mysterious knight who defeated his armies is here. The King wants the knight captured, and so…
Until next canto!
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Ruggiero, Orlando, Astolfo, Oliver, Sobrino, Rinaldo, Marfisa, Bradamante, Prince Leon and his dad King Constantine, King Vatran of the Bulgars, Ungiardo (a vassal of Constantine’s)
Awful Parents: Aymon, Beatrice
Swords: Balisarda
Horses: Frontino
Mages: Holy Hermit
Orlando Furioso, Canto XLIII
This is a long canto mostly about cuckoldry. There’s been a good bit of that so far, but in this canto they dial the cuck to 11. (My apologies to everyone.)
If Orlando Furioso was the most popular novel for everyone in Europe for centuries and the basis of countless paintings, operas, and ideas, then much of Western CultureTM is based on the very cishet male question of “What’s my girl up to when I’m not around?”
“A husband who desires to know
All that his wife has ever done or said
Will from contentment fall to pain and grief
And never henceforth will he find relief”
When last we left Rinaldo was being tested with the cup of cuckoldry.
If he could drink from the cup without it spilling, then he could be certain his wife (Clarice) was faithful to him. But if the cup spilled… well, we all have internet connections don’t we? Rinaldo’s shook and doesn’t know what to do. Does he drink and test the truth, or does he not drink and believe what he wants is the truth? In the end he opts not to drink. His host commends him as that is the wisest choice. The one he wishes he had made.
And so begins a tale.
The knight fell in love with a wizard’s daughter. She never knew a man until she met him. But he had known many women. Still, he received the wizard’s approval and married the daughter. Five years went by in conjugal bliss. Eventually the wizard died, and after that a sorceress in the neighborhood fell in love with him. Her name was Melissa. I assume this is the same Melissa who’s helped Bradamante a few times so far. She seemed fine then, but in this story she’s the villain.
The knight rejects Melissa. So she changes her tactics and starts planting doubts about his wife’s fidelity in his head. She thinks it would be wise for the knight to test the wife by leaving town for a bit. Before he goes Melissa brings out the cup and explains how it operates. Our guy can drink from it fine before he leaves town. The test will be how it works when he comes back. Or so I thought, but instead he leaves, has Melissa change his appearance to that of neighboring cavalier, and then the two return in disguise flashing gold and jewels. In this disguise he badgers his wife and tells her he will give her all this wealth if he could sleep with her just once. She, at last, says yes at which point our guy throws off his disguise. The wife is shamed and the two are furious at each other. When the morning arrives, the wife abandons the castle and goes straight to the neighboring cavalier’s house where she now lives quite happily.
Rinaldo’s not so sympathetic to the knight and his response is an eloquent mix of “Sucks to be you” and “It’s your own damn fault, because even steel and stone can be made to break.” In the morning the sad knight gets his boatmen to row Rinaldo down river to speed him on his journey.
Cue Ariosto going tour guide for a bit. Sermise they passed. Then Figarola and Stellata, etc. There’s also a long bit about Malagigi predicting how one city will be raised to greatness, which is likely a place where Ariosto owned property. Eventually he starts thinking about the cup and whether he was right to not drink from it. The steersman noticed his brooding and asks what’s bothering him. Rinaldo presents his case and asks if he reasoned right. The steersman says he did, because it’s like this other story about a guy who sought to punish his wife for a crime he himself committed.
And so begins another tale.
This one is about a judge named Anselmo, his wife Argla, and a guy named Adonio. Argla loved Anselmo too much and too well, and that made Anselmo suspicious. Meanwhile Adonio was a young cavalier in love with Argla. He spends all his money trying to impress her, fails, goes broke, and has to leave town disguised as a beggar. On his way he manages to rescue a snake from some peasants then continues on his journey, wandering for seven years. After that time he comes back still in love with Argla and more a beggar now then when he left. It’s around now that Anselmo gets called out of town. Before he goes he begs and pleads with Argla to stay faithful to him. He has no reason to expect she will cheat on him, except his one insecurity and a prediction a fortune teller made. Still, the king bids him go, so go he must.
It’s around now that Adonio comes back to town, and as he does he stops by the place where he rescued the snake. Well, of course that snake was a sorceress in disguise and her name’s Manto. She’s going to repay Adonio for his help by getting Argla to fall in love with him. First, she coaches Adonio in all the right ways to behave, then she transforms herself into the cutest little dog. And not just any cute af dog, but a cute af dog that can dance and sheds gold coins and jewels when she’s pet. Thus armed, they go to town and before long Argla’s heard about the dog and asks to buy it. Adonio names his price and Argla accepts and…
“Adonio long enjoyed the fruit he plucked.”
By and by Anselmo returns and his fortune teller tells him how his wife definitely cheated. The news pierces his heart. He comes back and starts in on questioning, but doesn’t get anywhere until Argla falls out with her nurse and the nurse reveals the whole thing. Anselmo goes mad and hires an assassin to kill Argla, but before the assassin can do it Argla vanishes (due to Manto’s magic spell).
Assassination botched, Anselmo really starts fretting. Argla’s going to shack up with someone and he’ll be a laughing stock, or worse this someone will be a panderer and start pimping her out. OH NO! What to do? He sends messengers out searching for her and eventually goes to where the assassin said she disappeared. When he arrives he’s surprised to find a palace there with a hideous “Ethiop” outside. Anselmo asks who owns the place. The Ethiop says he does and would Anselmo like a tour. The place inside is full of gold and jewels and the Ethiop would part with it all if Anselmo would let him sleep with his wife. It takes a few attempts, but of course Anselmo agrees to pimp out his wife (just like he feared someone else would do.) Argla jumps out and is like “You hypocrite!” The Ethiop and palace vanish. The two make-up and decide to never talk about these events again. I don’t remember what happened to Adonio, but I suspect he got to keep plucking.
Tale done, Rinaldo and the steersman have a laugh. Then it’s back to Ariosto tour guide. Romagna, Filo, Ravenna, until at last Rinaldo reaches the island just as Orlando kills Gradasso and Agramante. They get Oliver out from under his horse, gather the bodies, and go back to Biserta.
Astolfo and Sansonetto break the news of Brandimarte’s death to Fiordiligi. She reacts as you expects she would by going completely ape-shit. Wailing. Gnashing teeth. Pulling out her own hair. They lock her up in her room.
There’s then a lot about Brandimarte’s funeral. Everyone cries. Orlando. Fiordiligi. Some guy named Bardino I first thought was a horse.
After the funeral Fiordiligi moves into the tomb and all the knights leave her there. They go to seek a doctor for Oliver. A sailor tells them about an island with a holy hermit on there and says that if anyone can heal Oliver it would be that guy, so that’s where they go. Of course this is the place where Ruggiero is and the hermit the same one who baptized him. There’s a reunion. The hermit heals Oliver. Sobrino, who’s just been hanging out with these guys who all recently tried to kill him, sees the miracle and converts to Catholicism right then and there. They then go to greet Ruggiero and learn what news he brings.
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Rinaldo, Sad Cuckold Cup knight, Adonio, Anselmo, Orlando, Oliver, Astolfo, Sansonetto, Sobrino, Ruggiero
Damsels: Clarice? Unnamed woman in 1st story, Argla, Fiordiligi
Mages: Melissa, Malagigi, Manto, Holy Hermit
Magic Items: The Cuckold’s Cup
Orlando Furioso, XLII
We start in slow motion as Orlando watches Brandimarte fall. Fury once more returns to him and he stalks over to King Agramante and removes the king’s head before Gradasso can react.
Next it’s Gradasso’s turn and soon he’s dead. Sobrino this whole time bleeding out on the ground. Then Orlando goes to Brandimarte whose head is half split. His last word is “Fiordiligi” and then he’s dead. Orlando frees Oliver from beneath the horse and they return to their tents, carrying Sobrino along with them.
There’s a funny aside about a guy named Fulgoso who questions the accuracy of Ariosto’s story. A dude flew to the moon, bruv, and you’re hung up on whether Lampedusa was large enough to hold a fight between six knights?
That done Orlando looks out and sees a boat approaching. But before Ariosto tells us who that is, it’s off to Bradamante, who’s back to being all emo again.
I tell you. These two,
Bradamante and Ruggiero?
Complete trainwreck people.
Sure, they’re deeply in love, but the second they’re apart it’s like they’re expecting the worst of the other and ready to commit suicide. Bradamante is back to thinking Ruggiero hates her. She mopes to Melissa. She mopes to Marfisa. It’s Marfisa that tells her to get a grip. Ruggiero’s an honorable man. Etc. Etc. Bradamante is calmed… for now.
But what happens next is a complete side track. Ariosto switches to Rinaldo, who’s been chasing Angelica since the start of this book. He’s all messed up about her and sends people out to find where’s she gone. Eventually, Rinaldo seeks out Malagigi and that one uses his magic to discover how Angelica slept with Medoro and left with him for Asia. He tells all this to Rinaldo who does what all sullen men do when unlucky in love. They seek out someone to do violence upon. Rinaldo sets off east saying he wants to get his horse Baiardo back. He sets off and promptly encounters a monster.
This monster is a monstrous female figure covered in lidless eyes, ears, and snakes. This monster gets Rinaldo in her clutches and won’t let go, even when he tries to run away. He thinks all is lost, but before right before the end another knight rides up. He drives the snake away with his flaming mace. Then he takes Rinaldo to a pool where the waters will quench his thirst and free him from his obsession for Angelica. When Rinaldo asks the knight’s name, the knight says his name is Scorn, and like that he disappears.
I guess this whole interlude was an allegory about unworthy women should be scorned or something. Actually, this whole Rinaldo bit now and in the next canto is heavy with Kubler-Ross stages of grief for relationships allegories.
Rinaldo wonders what that was all about, but he’s glad to hate Angelica now and no longer love her. He continues on. Somewhere in Switzerland he hears how there’s to be a duel between Agramante and Orlando, and so he decides to make for that. Soon after he encounters another knight who offers to put Rinaldo up for the night.
It’s then that the men start talking about matrimony. We learn that Rinaldo has a wife. Night comes. Rinaldo and his host sit beside a great fountain where statues of women are kept on pedestals. This fountain gets described in intricate detail. All the statues give Ariosto a chance to commend the virtues of his female contemporaries. The host asks if Rinaldo wants to make a wager. Wager? Yes, wager. Does he think his wife is virtuous?
You see the host says he has a cup that spills before you can drink it if your wife is cheating on you.
What do you say Rinaldo? Care to see if you can drink from it?
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Orlando, Brandimarte, King Agramante, Oliver, Sobrino, Gradasso, Marfisa, Rinaldo, King Charlemagne,
Swords: Durindana, Balisarda
Mages: Melissa, Malagigi
Damsels: Clarice (Rinaldo’s wife), Angelica (they’ve been slut-shaming her fierce, but she and Medoro got out of this the happiest)
Magic Items: Flaming Mace of Scorn, Cuckold’s Cup,
Monsters: The Monstrous Female With a Thousand Lidless Eyes, Scorn (looks like a knight)
Orlando Furioso, Canto XLI
In this installment we are once again reminded that things have names.
Knights have names.
Horses have names.
Swords have names.
Also much cross-cutting ensues.
On land Dudone knows he’s beat. Ruggiero hasn’t been giving his all. They decide to cease fighting. Dudone asks what Ruggiero wants as a prize and he says some of your prisoners. (There are seven Saracen kings here and they all have names I can’t bother remembering.) Dudone hands these people over and they along with Ruggiero set sail. As soon as they do the weather turns and before long they’re all stuck in a great storm. The captain and crew make to abandon ship. Ruggiero does the same. He leaves his armor, weapons, and horse behind and leaps overboard. Everyone else apparently dies, but he manages to swim to an island. There he meets a hermit and the hermit teaches Ruggiero his cathechism and baptizes him.
There’s also something about having seven years yet to live but it’s okay because you’ll found this awesome family and they’ll grow so powerful that they can hire this guy named Ariosto to write your whole life story.
Meanwhile the ship that Ruggiero abandoned survives the storm and reaches Africa where it washes up near Orlando and the Gang. Inside are Ruggiero’s weapons and stuff. This being Balisarda (sword) and Frontino (horse). They’re pleased with this and Orlando doles out the gear. There’s an aside here about Fiordiligi who wails so much at the leaving of Brandimarte that Astolfo and Sansonetto have to drag her back to her chambers where she promptly takes to bed, but not before weaving Brandimarte a black surcoat decorated with jewels. Then it’s off to the island where King Agramant waits.
They get there too late to fight, so it’s nighty-knight. During the night Brandimarte goes over and visits the Saracens because he and King Agramante were once great friends. We get a bit of Brandimarte back story here. He was a Saracen up until he fell in love with / met Orlando. And now he wants Agramante to quit being Muslim and get baptized, but Agramante is like get the flip outta my face knave. And honestly, I don’t blame him. Brandimarte totally comes off as a missionary tool during this bit. In general Brandimarte is mostly a tool.
Morning comes and it’s time for the melee.
On the Christian side are Oliver, Orlando, and Brandimarte. On the Saracen side are Agramante, Gradasso, and Sobrino. Gradasso has Durindana (sword) and Baiard (horse) and Orlando has Balisarda (sword) and Unnamed (horse).
The fight is exciting stuff. Big steel cage tag team champs Wrestlemania vibes. Orlando’s horse gets knocked out. Agramante goes after Oliver. Brandimarte knocks Sobrino clear out of the saddle. Brandimarte goes to help Orlando. Gradasso fights Brandimarte. Sobrino gets up. Orlando knocks down Sobrino and climbs on a horse. He makes to assist Brandimarte. Gradasso turns to fight him. Sobrino gets back on his feet and backstabs Oliver’s horse. Horse and rider Tumbe. Brandimarte goes to help his friend. Agramante rushes in. Swords flash. Graddaso knocks down Orlando. He turns and Brandimarte’s about to kill his king. He rushes in. And orlando wakes up in time to see his beloved Brandimarte struck down.
“And from his charger Brandimarte fell,
And with blood which from his head drained
In widening crimson streaks
the sand was veined.”
Orlando charges Gradasso, and that’s where Ariosto ends the canto.
Pure cliffhanger material.
You might get some more of these this week and next. There are five cantos left and I would like to be done with this project by December 31st.
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Dudone, Ruggiero, Seven Saracen Kings, Orlando, Brandimarte, Oliver, Astolfo, Sansonetto, Agramante, Gradasso, Sobrino,
Damsels: Fiordiligi the Tragic
Horses: Frontino (formerly Ruggiero’s, now Brandimarte’s), Baiard (Gradasso’s horse that belonged to someone else before), Brigliador (Agramante’s horse),
Swords: Balisarda (formerly Ruggiero’s, now Orlando’s), Durindana (formerly Orlando’s now Gradasso’s)
Mages: Falerina the witch who forged Balisarda, a Hermit
INTO THE MYSTS
So after that TPK I mentioned a few posts ago, I switched my game over to Into the Odd.
We’re still using Mysthead 4 and going for a sword & sorcery vibe. I’ve added things like Cairn’s spell list and Weird North’s corruption into the mix. I’ve put links to all these games below. I also really like the idea of archetypes from Weird North and have made bespoke archetypes for my players. I’m not sure if this will be at odds with the initial semi-disposable nature of ItO characters as presented in the book*. It’ll be an interesting experiment.
Here are the archetypes and their abilities if you want to use them in your own game. Yes, some of them riff off the archetypes in the Weird North book. Also as you can see I use some other house rules like a refresh die and letting players burn a stat to get a bonus or recover an ability:
TRIBAL BEAST SINGER (AKA the Bard/Ranger)
GEAR: D8 hand weapon or a D6 missile weapon and D6 hand weapon, 2 random spell flutes, tribal clothes (armor 1), small net (can hold 1 medium sized or smaller creature), rope, Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
ABILITIES (pick two, gain another when you trigger prestige)
- Wind Carver: spend a week carving a flute to gain a random spell
- Endless Tune: your spell tunes refresh on a 6. Take again to lower by one point. Other refresh rules apply.
- Naturalist: spend an hour listening to nature to learn a truth
- Nimble: advantage on DEX saves
- Animal Companion: an animal like a hound, hawk, snake etc. accompanies you. You can communicate with it.
- Friends in Small Places: pick a small type of creature (mice, rats, songbirds, spiders) – you can command them to perform simple tasks for you
- Keen-Ears: never surprised
- Tracker: can track a single quarry across any terrain
- Pathfinder: pick a point on land, you will always know which path to take to reach that place
PRESTIGE: recover a treasure …. And ??? (everyone has two: recover a treasure is the same for all… but the other one is more bespoke and I don’t remember what we decided here. Tame an animal?)
Refresh: roll a D6, on a 6 you regain the ability. Refreshes automatically after a night’s rest. Can be refreshed after a short rest in lieu of HP.
***
THE CULTIST’S CHILD (AKA What if Tieflings were less sexy and more like something from John Carpenter’s The Thing?)
GEAR: 2 daggers (D6) 2 spells (random) Leather armor (1) Grappling hook 1 random item Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
ABILITIES (pick two)
- Grow a random boil for a random spell effect (refresh 6 or spend D6 DEX to auto refresh)
- Third eye: can see spirits and invisible creatures (usually closed and unseen)
- Vomit blast (D6 blast, refresh 6)
- Scales (+1 armor)
- Poison Immunity (ingested)
- Toxic Immunity (environmental)
- Rubber joints – can slip out of bonds and squeeze through narrow spaces
- Iron mind: makes will saves with advantage
- Quick Recovery – reduce refresh by 1
- Physical modification (gills, wings, hooves, tail)
PRESTIGE: recover a treasure, defeat a planar being
Refresh: roll a D6, on a 6 you regain the ability. Refreshes automatically after a night’s rest. Can be refreshed after a short rest in lieu of HP.
***
The Botanist (AKA the Botanist)
GEAR: D6 Weapon, 2 random potions, Armor 1, Sample Pack, Tea set: (Kettle, Mortar/Pestle), Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
BASE ABILITY: Brew tea (spend an hour to collect and brew a healing tea that heals 2D6 single stat damage from one person, or 2 points single stat damage from multiple [max. 6])
Bonus abilities: (pick one now, get another when you trigger prestige)
- Naturalist: can craft potions and objects of minor power from salvaged monster parts.
- Plant speech: sit for an hour in silence communing with nature to learn a truth
- Call plants: you can command plants to grow faster (refresh 6)
- Survivalist: Can always find the safest path forward while on land.
- Forager: can always find an herb or ID a plant.
- Soothing Balm: can heal D6HP from self or another if you are not moving or attacking
PRESTIGE: Recover a treasure, make a discovery
***
Right now they’re stuck between menaces along with a researcher and a hapless mercenary. You can see them all up there in the picture at the top of this post. Deviltoads one way, magic portal to an alien hive the other.
Maybe they’ll escape…
* When I played Electric Bastionland part of the fun was that random character matrix of failed careers you could be. So if your character died the loss was blunted by getting the chance to play some other weirdo. The way I’m running things the characters are still as squishy as EB characters, but it took two days to come up with their bespoke archetype abilities. I suspect this will likely bite me in the butt eventually.
LINKS:
Orlando Furioso, Canto XL
I humbly beg your apologies. Last post I said that Orlando was the captain of the fleet, but I was wrong. It’s actually Dudone the Dane who is the captain. Mea culpa. I will find myself a suitable rock with which to pound my chest.
We start with a big sea battle that goes badly for the Saracens. Dudone employs Greek fire and soon Agramante’s fleet is ablaze. Agramante escapes, but the illustration paints a grim picture.
Back in Africa, we find Orlando, Astolfo, and the gang getting ready to attack Biserta. There are prayers. In the city the whole Muslim population turns out to pray for protection. This is all a call back to when Rodomonte attacked Paris back in canto whatever (it was Canto XVI).
Battle ensues. It’s grisly as we have come to accept from previous instances. Brandimart climbs a ladder but it breaks before his men can follow him, so he gets stranded in the city. Honestly, Brandimart seems a shit knight. Ariosto keeps saying he is one of the best, an equal almost to Orlando, but whenever we read about him he’s getting kicked in the nuts by events. The Patroclus vibes are strong with him.
Despite being stuck in the city Brandimart hacks and hews his way through the inhabitants. Again shades of Rodomonte here inside the walls of Paris, but, unlike the savage Rodomonte, Brandimart doesn’t slay his own troops and rush off before his comrades can reach him. When they do reach him, the battle’s won and it’s off to killing, looting, raping, and pillaging which Ariosto mentions.
So well done, fellows. True paladins of the faith.
From there it’s back to Agramante on a boat – or is it back to Dudone (Dude-One?) on a boat – or is it back to Ruggiero who has set off to find Agramante and ask him if he really and truly broke his oath about the duel fought back a few cantos ago? Anyway, it’s one of those things. Agramante encounters Gradasso on an island and they propose sending a messenger to Orlando saying let’s you and your crew fight me and my crew. Orlando accepts but lacks the weapons to do so with honor (Gradasso has his sword right now). Despite this he equips himself as well as he can and sets out with Oliver and Brandimarte. Meanwhile Ruggiero encounters the burnt ships of Agramante’s fleet and sets off along the coast only to encounter Dudone. Dudone attacks him. He fights with an iron club. But the club has no name. That’s all left unresolved when the canto ends.
Next time I don’t know what will happen, but I assume someone will get punched. Or we’ll be thrown to some other place and hear the names of another thousand characters. Until then!
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: King Agramante, Dude-one the Dane, Orlando, Astolfo, Sansonetto, King Branzardo (ruler of Biserta), Prester John, Oliver, Brandimarte, King Bucifar (ruler of Algaziers), Sobrino (Agramante’s councillor), Ruggiero
Horses: Brigliadoro (Orlando’s horse with King Agramante), Baiardo (someone’s horse Astolfo’s? Rinaldo’s? currently with Gradasso)
Swords: Durindana (Orlando’s sword with Gradasso), Balisard (Ruggiero’s sword)
TPK: Post-Mortem
Nine sessions into my latest game and the hammer came down.
A TPK.
Yes, at least one of my players would object to me saying that, since their character managed to flee the conflict wounded, reach an island, and crawl beneath their overturned rowboat as the buzzing of a group of stirges approached.
And as is always the case I wonder what went wrong.
Yes, there were bad decisions and bad dice rolls, and one night we should’ve called the game at a cliff-hanger point instead of pressing on – but things happened as they happened. Now everyone’s making new characters (and we’re changing the rule set while staying in the same setting), but as is the case it’s time for introspection and dissecting the game to see what worked and what didn’t.
Here we go…
THE BASICS
Rule set: Through the Sunken lands by Flatland Games. It’s a retroclone and one I’ve used before.
Characters: A Pirate Captain, the Goblin’s Child, and the Student of the Dark Arts (players could pick playbooks from either Through Sunken Lands or Beyond the Wall). This ended up being a fighter/thief, a fighter/thief/mage, and a mage. The playbooks are fun, but they can be disappointing when the rolls don’t go your way. Despite two fighter types I don’t think anyone started with a strength above 13.
House Rules: The use of fortune points was expanded. Spend two to shrug off a spell effect. Spend a fortune point to regain a HD of HP on a short rest.
Advancement: XP was a combination of pop quiz style (each adventure offered a basic amount of XP for accomplishing certain goals) and XP for loot. Loot however needed to be spent in town. A carousing table was used.
Since characters got XP for loot, there were instances of one character splitting off from the party, getting very lucky, and getting loot the other characters never knew about. (The players knew and rolled their eyes in disgust… or at least I imagine they did. We play online without any cameras, but I swear I could hear the eye rolls.) This also meant times where the party had loot they needed to convert to XP, but had to travel to a bigger settlement to spend it. This was the situation before they died. Still I liked this mechanic and the mix of XP awards. But it did incentivize a certain selfishness among the players (or at least it did in that one heel player). This, however, fit the sword & sorcery vibe in my opinion. Whether the selfishness led to the TPK is debatable. The party never really came together as a group loyal to each other and able to strategize together.
Equipment: Inventory slots and a usage die. Both of these worked well, but they did seem to have an infinite amount of rope.
THINGS THAT MAYBE DIDN’T WORK
Nothing. I’m perfect.
Uhhh… I mean…
Time Management: You get a feel for the game and when something tells you this is a good point to end the session, end the session. It’s okay to finish 35 minutes ahead of the usual time. Better too short than too long. If the game had been cut early one night, then players would’ve had a week to prep/ask questions before going into the encounter that killed them*.
Avoid Bullet Time: There’s a tendency to want to play out every moment of game time. That’s not always necessary. The loot mechanic of get back to town to gain XP maybe encouraged some bullet time, since if the game ended with them making camp, the next session would then be them getting back home. Often a random encounter would happen that would then thwart their objective to get home and send them deeper into danger and deeper into turns and bullet time.
Telegraph Threats: It’s fun to make things weird and unpredictable, but (as an example) giving a goblin a breath weapon where they can vomit out a slurry of jagged gravel that does D6 damage to everyone in range may be fun, but A) it induces paranoia in players, which can lead to analysis paralysis, B) it also makes it difficult for players to determine what they should worry about.
Information Economy in the Fog of War: Is it punishing the players by withholding information about their current mission, because they spent their one opportunity to research things researching some other information they thought was more important? Is that a failure on the GM’s part for not telegraphing what details are important? Should the GM even worry about this? Are players supposed to say (hell, even know!) the magic words that will trigger an NPC to give the relevant information or should players just be given the damn information that might be relevant? In other words…
Should players hear about a thing (that may be relevant) even if they never ask about the thing?
Questions. Questions.
* Yes, that character made it back to the beach so the campaign actually ended with the lone survivor cowering under an overturned rowboat and a fade to black as buzzing approached.
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXIX
This is it.
This is the canto we’ve all been waiting for.
This is the canto where Orlando gets his wits back.
The canto where Orlando is FURIOSO NO MORE!
But first Ruggiero and Rinaldo continue with their slap fight, and while Rinaldo is all “I’m gonna kill him”, Ruggiero is all “I can’t because he’s my fiancé’s brother!”
Needless to say the Muslim army is like, Ruggiero, bruv, what are you doing? Even King Agramant is like, “This sucks.”
And that’s when Melissa the Sorceress steps in and casts Alter Self and makes herself look like Rodomonte. She goes over to King Agramant and is like, “King Bruv, dafuq you doing? Why not let me fight?” And Agramant is like “Dude, where have you been!?!” And Melissa-Rodomonte is like “Places.” And Kind Agramamnt is like “Good enough” and he calls an end to the duel.
And, if you remember the duel’s agreement, Ruggiero said he’d switch sides if King Agramant stopped the fight. Well, looks like that happened. (sneaky, sneaky Melissa!)
Needless to say the duel ends and all hell breaks loose. The armies set on each other’s throats. Bradamante and Marfisa wade deep into the fray and start killing people left and right. Like hounds allowed after their quarry after being held back so long. (Ariosto, you calling the Lady Knights bitches?)
Meanwhile a bunch of shit is happening in Africa. Astolfo and his Nubian army are capturing cities left and right. In one of them they find Dudone the Dane. Who’s he? Some guy, but he’s a Sailor Guy. Once he’s free he gets with Astolfo and the two of them start strategizing their return invasion of Europe. Dudone’s like “We need a navy” and Astolfo is like “Watch this!” And he takes some leaves and with the blessing of Saint John throws them on the sea and POOF the leaves grow and transform into ships. And this navy captures the ship Rodomonte sent over with his captives and in those they find this guy, that guy, and the other guy (Brandimarte). Fiordiligi shows up and she and Brandimarte have a reunion. And soon all the Christian knights are gathered and mustered and ready to bring the war back home when out of the wilderness comes this howling mad man.
That’s right! It’s our boy Orlando doing the Furioso! He’s threatening everyone and Brandimarte and all his former friends try and subdue him and it takes like five of them to hold him down and when they have him subdued Astolfo gets the vial of Orlando’s wits (the one he got on the moon) and pours it down Orlando’s throat. At which point, Orlando forgets all about Angelica and comes to his senses.
Now they can go back to Europe and kick Agramant’s ass.
Meanwhile, Agramant’s had the worse of it and decided to flee for Africa. He’s piled his remaining troops on board his boats and set off.
But what’s this on the horizon?
A fleet of boats! And with Orlando at the helm!
Oh no!
Agramante, bruv, you fucked!
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Rinaldo, Ruggiero, Marfisa, Bradamante, King Agramante, Astolfo, Orlando, Salvaggio, Sansonetto, Brandimarte, Dudone the Dane… and a bunch of other people. I have to admit that whenever Ariosto says so-and-so or so-and-so was there I feel like it’s like whenever Simon the Devious shows up with his crew in What We Do In the Shadows. Sometimes it’s just NAME and I’m left wondering if it’s a person, kingdom, or horse.
Damsels: Fiordiligi who is also called Fiordilisa
Mages: Melissa
Monsters: None
Magic Items: Leaf boats, Orlando’s bottle of wits
Mysthead #4
And here it is…
Mysthead #4, a system neutral micro-setting for seafaring fantasy adventures.
Inside you will find multiple generators, a local region and the many peoples who live there, several unique curiosities, a hexflower encounter matrix for seafaring events, and more!
You can find it at DrivethruRPG (affiliate link) or here at itch.io: https://myxomycetes.itch.io/mysthead-4
Enjoy!
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXVIII
The plot tidying continues!
Bradamante and Marfisa enter the camp of King Charles and everyone’s delighted to see Bradamante and they gawk at Marfisa. More than a few of the Christian knights fought her on the battlefield. Marfisa kneels to the King. She tells her backstory and asks to be baptized as a Christian. King Charles agrees and it’s set for the next day.
Then it’s back to the moon where Astolfo says good bye to Saint John and sets off back to Earth. He heals King Senapo/Prester John with a magic herb and in return Senapo musters his army of Nubians. Then Astolfo goes to a hill where he captures the wind in a bag. This in hand, he returns to the army where he prays and Saint John transforms an avalanche into camels for the army to mount. Off they ride to wage war on King Agramante’s North African holdings.
Word reaches King Agramante and he’s now torn. Does he continue to press the fight against King Charles and the Christians or does he return to Africa and defend his kingdom. King Marsilio says they should stay. King Sorbino says they should go. In the end it’s decided that they’ll approach King Charles and suggest the Christians pick a champion to fight their Muslim champion and end the war that way.
King Charles agrees to the suggestion. The Christians pick Rinaldo as their champion. The Muslims pick Ruggiero. Bradamante weeps at this. Rinaldo is her brother. Ruggiero is her betrothed. But Melissa the Sorceress shows up (remember her? Of course, you don’t!) and tells her not to worry. She has a plan.
The day comes. Solemn vows get made before priest and imam. Both kings agree to abide by the duel’s outcome. Both knights say they will serve the other king if their own bids them to cease fighting. It is agreed that the knights will fight on foot with axe and dagger.
Then the combat begins, but it is slow since neither knight really wants to harm the other… and that’s where things stop.
“The rest in the next canto you will hear,
If next time you desire to join me there.”
CANTO SCORE CARD
KNIGHT: Bradamante, Marfisa, Ruggiero, Astolfo, King Senapo, King Charles, King Agramante, King Marsilio, King Sorbino, Rinaldo, all the second stringers… (Guidon, Sansonetto, Viviano, Ricciardo, Riciardetto, Grifone, the sons of Oliver, etc.)
MAGES: Melissa, Saint John, Malagigi
MONSTERS: hippogriff the stone camels, man
MAGIC ITEMS: A bag of wind, camels made from stones, magic herb, the usual magic armor
Yesterweird 