Orlando Furioso, Canto XLI
In this installment we are once again reminded that things have names.
Knights have names.
Horses have names.
Swords have names.
Also much cross-cutting ensues.
On land Dudone knows he’s beat. Ruggiero hasn’t been giving his all. They decide to cease fighting. Dudone asks what Ruggiero wants as a prize and he says some of your prisoners. (There are seven Saracen kings here and they all have names I can’t bother remembering.) Dudone hands these people over and they along with Ruggiero set sail. As soon as they do the weather turns and before long they’re all stuck in a great storm. The captain and crew make to abandon ship. Ruggiero does the same. He leaves his armor, weapons, and horse behind and leaps overboard. Everyone else apparently dies, but he manages to swim to an island. There he meets a hermit and the hermit teaches Ruggiero his cathechism and baptizes him.
There’s also something about having seven years yet to live but it’s okay because you’ll found this awesome family and they’ll grow so powerful that they can hire this guy named Ariosto to write your whole life story.
Meanwhile the ship that Ruggiero abandoned survives the storm and reaches Africa where it washes up near Orlando and the Gang. Inside are Ruggiero’s weapons and stuff. This being Balisarda (sword) and Frontino (horse). They’re pleased with this and Orlando doles out the gear. There’s an aside here about Fiordiligi who wails so much at the leaving of Brandimarte that Astolfo and Sansonetto have to drag her back to her chambers where she promptly takes to bed, but not before weaving Brandimarte a black surcoat decorated with jewels. Then it’s off to the island where King Agramant waits.
They get there too late to fight, so it’s nighty-knight. During the night Brandimarte goes over and visits the Saracens because he and King Agramante were once great friends. We get a bit of Brandimarte back story here. He was a Saracen up until he fell in love with / met Orlando. And now he wants Agramante to quit being Muslim and get baptized, but Agramante is like get the flip outta my face knave. And honestly, I don’t blame him. Brandimarte totally comes off as a missionary tool during this bit. In general Brandimarte is mostly a tool.
Morning comes and it’s time for the melee.
On the Christian side are Oliver, Orlando, and Brandimarte. On the Saracen side are Agramante, Gradasso, and Sobrino. Gradasso has Durindana (sword) and Baiard (horse) and Orlando has Balisarda (sword) and Unnamed (horse).
The fight is exciting stuff. Big steel cage tag team champs Wrestlemania vibes. Orlando’s horse gets knocked out. Agramante goes after Oliver. Brandimarte knocks Sobrino clear out of the saddle. Brandimarte goes to help Orlando. Gradasso fights Brandimarte. Sobrino gets up. Orlando knocks down Sobrino and climbs on a horse. He makes to assist Brandimarte. Gradasso turns to fight him. Sobrino gets back on his feet and backstabs Oliver’s horse. Horse and rider Tumbe. Brandimarte goes to help his friend. Agramante rushes in. Swords flash. Graddaso knocks down Orlando. He turns and Brandimarte’s about to kill his king. He rushes in. And orlando wakes up in time to see his beloved Brandimarte struck down.
“And from his charger Brandimarte fell,
And with blood which from his head drained
In widening crimson streaks
the sand was veined.”
Orlando charges Gradasso, and that’s where Ariosto ends the canto.
Pure cliffhanger material.
You might get some more of these this week and next. There are five cantos left and I would like to be done with this project by December 31st.
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Dudone, Ruggiero, Seven Saracen Kings, Orlando, Brandimarte, Oliver, Astolfo, Sansonetto, Agramante, Gradasso, Sobrino,
Damsels: Fiordiligi the Tragic
Horses: Frontino (formerly Ruggiero’s, now Brandimarte’s), Baiard (Gradasso’s horse that belonged to someone else before), Brigliador (Agramante’s horse),
Swords: Balisarda (formerly Ruggiero’s, now Orlando’s), Durindana (formerly Orlando’s now Gradasso’s)
Mages: Falerina the witch who forged Balisarda, a Hermit
INTO THE MYSTS
So after that TPK I mentioned a few posts ago, I switched my game over to Into the Odd.
We’re still using Mysthead 4 and going for a sword & sorcery vibe. I’ve added things like Cairn’s spell list and Weird North’s corruption into the mix. I’ve put links to all these games below. I also really like the idea of archetypes from Weird North and have made bespoke archetypes for my players. I’m not sure if this will be at odds with the initial semi-disposable nature of ItO characters as presented in the book*. It’ll be an interesting experiment.
Here are the archetypes and their abilities if you want to use them in your own game. Yes, some of them riff off the archetypes in the Weird North book. Also as you can see I use some other house rules like a refresh die and letting players burn a stat to get a bonus or recover an ability:
TRIBAL BEAST SINGER (AKA the Bard/Ranger)
GEAR: D8 hand weapon or a D6 missile weapon and D6 hand weapon, 2 random spell flutes, tribal clothes (armor 1), small net (can hold 1 medium sized or smaller creature), rope, Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
ABILITIES (pick two, gain another when you trigger prestige)
- Wind Carver: spend a week carving a flute to gain a random spell
- Endless Tune: your spell tunes refresh on a 6. Take again to lower by one point. Other refresh rules apply.
- Naturalist: spend an hour listening to nature to learn a truth
- Nimble: advantage on DEX saves
- Animal Companion: an animal like a hound, hawk, snake etc. accompanies you. You can communicate with it.
- Friends in Small Places: pick a small type of creature (mice, rats, songbirds, spiders) – you can command them to perform simple tasks for you
- Keen-Ears: never surprised
- Tracker: can track a single quarry across any terrain
- Pathfinder: pick a point on land, you will always know which path to take to reach that place
PRESTIGE: recover a treasure …. And ??? (everyone has two: recover a treasure is the same for all… but the other one is more bespoke and I don’t remember what we decided here. Tame an animal?)
Refresh: roll a D6, on a 6 you regain the ability. Refreshes automatically after a night’s rest. Can be refreshed after a short rest in lieu of HP.
***
THE CULTIST’S CHILD (AKA What if Tieflings were less sexy and more like something from John Carpenter’s The Thing?)
GEAR: 2 daggers (D6) 2 spells (random) Leather armor (1) Grappling hook 1 random item Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
ABILITIES (pick two)
- Grow a random boil for a random spell effect (refresh 6 or spend D6 DEX to auto refresh)
- Third eye: can see spirits and invisible creatures (usually closed and unseen)
- Vomit blast (D6 blast, refresh 6)
- Scales (+1 armor)
- Poison Immunity (ingested)
- Toxic Immunity (environmental)
- Rubber joints – can slip out of bonds and squeeze through narrow spaces
- Iron mind: makes will saves with advantage
- Quick Recovery – reduce refresh by 1
- Physical modification (gills, wings, hooves, tail)
PRESTIGE: recover a treasure, defeat a planar being
Refresh: roll a D6, on a 6 you regain the ability. Refreshes automatically after a night’s rest. Can be refreshed after a short rest in lieu of HP.
***
The Botanist (AKA the Botanist)
GEAR: D6 Weapon, 2 random potions, Armor 1, Sample Pack, Tea set: (Kettle, Mortar/Pestle), Pack (3 days food, bedroll, torch)
BASE ABILITY: Brew tea (spend an hour to collect and brew a healing tea that heals 2D6 single stat damage from one person, or 2 points single stat damage from multiple [max. 6])
Bonus abilities: (pick one now, get another when you trigger prestige)
- Naturalist: can craft potions and objects of minor power from salvaged monster parts.
- Plant speech: sit for an hour in silence communing with nature to learn a truth
- Call plants: you can command plants to grow faster (refresh 6)
- Survivalist: Can always find the safest path forward while on land.
- Forager: can always find an herb or ID a plant.
- Soothing Balm: can heal D6HP from self or another if you are not moving or attacking
PRESTIGE: Recover a treasure, make a discovery
***
Right now they’re stuck between menaces along with a researcher and a hapless mercenary. You can see them all up there in the picture at the top of this post. Deviltoads one way, magic portal to an alien hive the other.
Maybe they’ll escape…
* When I played Electric Bastionland part of the fun was that random character matrix of failed careers you could be. So if your character died the loss was blunted by getting the chance to play some other weirdo. The way I’m running things the characters are still as squishy as EB characters, but it took two days to come up with their bespoke archetype abilities. I suspect this will likely bite me in the butt eventually.
LINKS:
Orlando Furioso, Canto XL
I humbly beg your apologies. Last post I said that Orlando was the captain of the fleet, but I was wrong. It’s actually Dudone the Dane who is the captain. Mea culpa. I will find myself a suitable rock with which to pound my chest.
We start with a big sea battle that goes badly for the Saracens. Dudone employs Greek fire and soon Agramante’s fleet is ablaze. Agramante escapes, but the illustration paints a grim picture.
Back in Africa, we find Orlando, Astolfo, and the gang getting ready to attack Biserta. There are prayers. In the city the whole Muslim population turns out to pray for protection. This is all a call back to when Rodomonte attacked Paris back in canto whatever (it was Canto XVI).
Battle ensues. It’s grisly as we have come to accept from previous instances. Brandimart climbs a ladder but it breaks before his men can follow him, so he gets stranded in the city. Honestly, Brandimart seems a shit knight. Ariosto keeps saying he is one of the best, an equal almost to Orlando, but whenever we read about him he’s getting kicked in the nuts by events. The Patroclus vibes are strong with him.
Despite being stuck in the city Brandimart hacks and hews his way through the inhabitants. Again shades of Rodomonte here inside the walls of Paris, but, unlike the savage Rodomonte, Brandimart doesn’t slay his own troops and rush off before his comrades can reach him. When they do reach him, the battle’s won and it’s off to killing, looting, raping, and pillaging which Ariosto mentions.
So well done, fellows. True paladins of the faith.
From there it’s back to Agramante on a boat – or is it back to Dudone (Dude-One?) on a boat – or is it back to Ruggiero who has set off to find Agramante and ask him if he really and truly broke his oath about the duel fought back a few cantos ago? Anyway, it’s one of those things. Agramante encounters Gradasso on an island and they propose sending a messenger to Orlando saying let’s you and your crew fight me and my crew. Orlando accepts but lacks the weapons to do so with honor (Gradasso has his sword right now). Despite this he equips himself as well as he can and sets out with Oliver and Brandimarte. Meanwhile Ruggiero encounters the burnt ships of Agramante’s fleet and sets off along the coast only to encounter Dudone. Dudone attacks him. He fights with an iron club. But the club has no name. That’s all left unresolved when the canto ends.
Next time I don’t know what will happen, but I assume someone will get punched. Or we’ll be thrown to some other place and hear the names of another thousand characters. Until then!
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: King Agramante, Dude-one the Dane, Orlando, Astolfo, Sansonetto, King Branzardo (ruler of Biserta), Prester John, Oliver, Brandimarte, King Bucifar (ruler of Algaziers), Sobrino (Agramante’s councillor), Ruggiero
Horses: Brigliadoro (Orlando’s horse with King Agramante), Baiardo (someone’s horse Astolfo’s? Rinaldo’s? currently with Gradasso)
Swords: Durindana (Orlando’s sword with Gradasso), Balisard (Ruggiero’s sword)
TPK: Post-Mortem
Nine sessions into my latest game and the hammer came down.
A TPK.
Yes, at least one of my players would object to me saying that, since their character managed to flee the conflict wounded, reach an island, and crawl beneath their overturned rowboat as the buzzing of a group of stirges approached.
And as is always the case I wonder what went wrong.
Yes, there were bad decisions and bad dice rolls, and one night we should’ve called the game at a cliff-hanger point instead of pressing on – but things happened as they happened. Now everyone’s making new characters (and we’re changing the rule set while staying in the same setting), but as is the case it’s time for introspection and dissecting the game to see what worked and what didn’t.
Here we go…
THE BASICS
Rule set: Through the Sunken lands by Flatland Games. It’s a retroclone and one I’ve used before.
Characters: A Pirate Captain, the Goblin’s Child, and the Student of the Dark Arts (players could pick playbooks from either Through Sunken Lands or Beyond the Wall). This ended up being a fighter/thief, a fighter/thief/mage, and a mage. The playbooks are fun, but they can be disappointing when the rolls don’t go your way. Despite two fighter types I don’t think anyone started with a strength above 13.
House Rules: The use of fortune points was expanded. Spend two to shrug off a spell effect. Spend a fortune point to regain a HD of HP on a short rest.
Advancement: XP was a combination of pop quiz style (each adventure offered a basic amount of XP for accomplishing certain goals) and XP for loot. Loot however needed to be spent in town. A carousing table was used.
Since characters got XP for loot, there were instances of one character splitting off from the party, getting very lucky, and getting loot the other characters never knew about. (The players knew and rolled their eyes in disgust… or at least I imagine they did. We play online without any cameras, but I swear I could hear the eye rolls.) This also meant times where the party had loot they needed to convert to XP, but had to travel to a bigger settlement to spend it. This was the situation before they died. Still I liked this mechanic and the mix of XP awards. But it did incentivize a certain selfishness among the players (or at least it did in that one heel player). This, however, fit the sword & sorcery vibe in my opinion. Whether the selfishness led to the TPK is debatable. The party never really came together as a group loyal to each other and able to strategize together.
Equipment: Inventory slots and a usage die. Both of these worked well, but they did seem to have an infinite amount of rope.
THINGS THAT MAYBE DIDN’T WORK
Nothing. I’m perfect.
Uhhh… I mean…
Time Management: You get a feel for the game and when something tells you this is a good point to end the session, end the session. It’s okay to finish 35 minutes ahead of the usual time. Better too short than too long. If the game had been cut early one night, then players would’ve had a week to prep/ask questions before going into the encounter that killed them*.
Avoid Bullet Time: There’s a tendency to want to play out every moment of game time. That’s not always necessary. The loot mechanic of get back to town to gain XP maybe encouraged some bullet time, since if the game ended with them making camp, the next session would then be them getting back home. Often a random encounter would happen that would then thwart their objective to get home and send them deeper into danger and deeper into turns and bullet time.
Telegraph Threats: It’s fun to make things weird and unpredictable, but (as an example) giving a goblin a breath weapon where they can vomit out a slurry of jagged gravel that does D6 damage to everyone in range may be fun, but A) it induces paranoia in players, which can lead to analysis paralysis, B) it also makes it difficult for players to determine what they should worry about.
Information Economy in the Fog of War: Is it punishing the players by withholding information about their current mission, because they spent their one opportunity to research things researching some other information they thought was more important? Is that a failure on the GM’s part for not telegraphing what details are important? Should the GM even worry about this? Are players supposed to say (hell, even know!) the magic words that will trigger an NPC to give the relevant information or should players just be given the damn information that might be relevant? In other words…
Should players hear about a thing (that may be relevant) even if they never ask about the thing?
Questions. Questions.
* Yes, that character made it back to the beach so the campaign actually ended with the lone survivor cowering under an overturned rowboat and a fade to black as buzzing approached.
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXIX
This is it.
This is the canto we’ve all been waiting for.
This is the canto where Orlando gets his wits back.
The canto where Orlando is FURIOSO NO MORE!
But first Ruggiero and Rinaldo continue with their slap fight, and while Rinaldo is all “I’m gonna kill him”, Ruggiero is all “I can’t because he’s my fiancé’s brother!”
Needless to say the Muslim army is like, Ruggiero, bruv, what are you doing? Even King Agramant is like, “This sucks.”
And that’s when Melissa the Sorceress steps in and casts Alter Self and makes herself look like Rodomonte. She goes over to King Agramant and is like, “King Bruv, dafuq you doing? Why not let me fight?” And Agramant is like “Dude, where have you been!?!” And Melissa-Rodomonte is like “Places.” And Kind Agramamnt is like “Good enough” and he calls an end to the duel.
And, if you remember the duel’s agreement, Ruggiero said he’d switch sides if King Agramant stopped the fight. Well, looks like that happened. (sneaky, sneaky Melissa!)
Needless to say the duel ends and all hell breaks loose. The armies set on each other’s throats. Bradamante and Marfisa wade deep into the fray and start killing people left and right. Like hounds allowed after their quarry after being held back so long. (Ariosto, you calling the Lady Knights bitches?)
Meanwhile a bunch of shit is happening in Africa. Astolfo and his Nubian army are capturing cities left and right. In one of them they find Dudone the Dane. Who’s he? Some guy, but he’s a Sailor Guy. Once he’s free he gets with Astolfo and the two of them start strategizing their return invasion of Europe. Dudone’s like “We need a navy” and Astolfo is like “Watch this!” And he takes some leaves and with the blessing of Saint John throws them on the sea and POOF the leaves grow and transform into ships. And this navy captures the ship Rodomonte sent over with his captives and in those they find this guy, that guy, and the other guy (Brandimarte). Fiordiligi shows up and she and Brandimarte have a reunion. And soon all the Christian knights are gathered and mustered and ready to bring the war back home when out of the wilderness comes this howling mad man.
That’s right! It’s our boy Orlando doing the Furioso! He’s threatening everyone and Brandimarte and all his former friends try and subdue him and it takes like five of them to hold him down and when they have him subdued Astolfo gets the vial of Orlando’s wits (the one he got on the moon) and pours it down Orlando’s throat. At which point, Orlando forgets all about Angelica and comes to his senses.
Now they can go back to Europe and kick Agramant’s ass.
Meanwhile, Agramant’s had the worse of it and decided to flee for Africa. He’s piled his remaining troops on board his boats and set off.
But what’s this on the horizon?
A fleet of boats! And with Orlando at the helm!
Oh no!
Agramante, bruv, you fucked!
CANTO SCORE CARD
Knights: Rinaldo, Ruggiero, Marfisa, Bradamante, King Agramante, Astolfo, Orlando, Salvaggio, Sansonetto, Brandimarte, Dudone the Dane… and a bunch of other people. I have to admit that whenever Ariosto says so-and-so or so-and-so was there I feel like it’s like whenever Simon the Devious shows up with his crew in What We Do In the Shadows. Sometimes it’s just NAME and I’m left wondering if it’s a person, kingdom, or horse.
Damsels: Fiordiligi who is also called Fiordilisa
Mages: Melissa
Monsters: None
Magic Items: Leaf boats, Orlando’s bottle of wits
Mysthead #4
And here it is…
Mysthead #4, a system neutral micro-setting for seafaring fantasy adventures.
Inside you will find multiple generators, a local region and the many peoples who live there, several unique curiosities, a hexflower encounter matrix for seafaring events, and more!
You can find it at DrivethruRPG (affiliate link) or here at itch.io: https://myxomycetes.itch.io/mysthead-4
Enjoy!
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXVIII
The plot tidying continues!
Bradamante and Marfisa enter the camp of King Charles and everyone’s delighted to see Bradamante and they gawk at Marfisa. More than a few of the Christian knights fought her on the battlefield. Marfisa kneels to the King. She tells her backstory and asks to be baptized as a Christian. King Charles agrees and it’s set for the next day.
Then it’s back to the moon where Astolfo says good bye to Saint John and sets off back to Earth. He heals King Senapo/Prester John with a magic herb and in return Senapo musters his army of Nubians. Then Astolfo goes to a hill where he captures the wind in a bag. This in hand, he returns to the army where he prays and Saint John transforms an avalanche into camels for the army to mount. Off they ride to wage war on King Agramante’s North African holdings.
Word reaches King Agramante and he’s now torn. Does he continue to press the fight against King Charles and the Christians or does he return to Africa and defend his kingdom. King Marsilio says they should stay. King Sorbino says they should go. In the end it’s decided that they’ll approach King Charles and suggest the Christians pick a champion to fight their Muslim champion and end the war that way.
King Charles agrees to the suggestion. The Christians pick Rinaldo as their champion. The Muslims pick Ruggiero. Bradamante weeps at this. Rinaldo is her brother. Ruggiero is her betrothed. But Melissa the Sorceress shows up (remember her? Of course, you don’t!) and tells her not to worry. She has a plan.
The day comes. Solemn vows get made before priest and imam. Both kings agree to abide by the duel’s outcome. Both knights say they will serve the other king if their own bids them to cease fighting. It is agreed that the knights will fight on foot with axe and dagger.
Then the combat begins, but it is slow since neither knight really wants to harm the other… and that’s where things stop.
“The rest in the next canto you will hear,
If next time you desire to join me there.”
CANTO SCORE CARD
KNIGHT: Bradamante, Marfisa, Ruggiero, Astolfo, King Senapo, King Charles, King Agramante, King Marsilio, King Sorbino, Rinaldo, all the second stringers… (Guidon, Sansonetto, Viviano, Ricciardo, Riciardetto, Grifone, the sons of Oliver, etc.)
MAGES: Melissa, Saint John, Malagigi
MONSTERS: hippogriff the stone camels, man
MAGIC ITEMS: A bag of wind, camels made from stones, magic herb, the usual magic armor
Coming Soon: Mysthead #4
Mysthead is my occasional tabletop rpg fanzine. Issue #4 is on schedule for a December release. It’ll be 48-pages and detail a micro-setting for nautical swashbuckling adventure. In fact the setting I’m using in my current games!
Navigate the seas beneath the Vortex Maelstrum!
Learn the secrets of the Midnight Squid!
Cower before the head of Dead-Eyes Anderton!
And more…
You’ll be able to find it on my itch.io page when it’s done: https://myxomycetes.itch.io/
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXVII
This is one of those cantos where I wonder if I should be looking up all the Italian historical figures Ariosto name drops because maybe when he has one of his stories about some horrible kingdom he’s actually throwing shade at some 15th century contemporary he mentions. But I feel like looking every one up goes against the nature of this project, which is that people should pick up old books and read them because they’re entertaining af and not because they’ll give you culture.
On to our canto…
Ariosto starts by extolling the virtues of women and saying that we don’t know the whole of all their great deeds because men suppress their accomplishments. A notion Joanna Russ would agree with.
“For Woman’s merits many a man will not
Proclaim, though gladly ill of her he says.”
Ariosto then goes on to say how it’s impossible to pick one women to hold aloft as the greatest, since there are so many who could be called so. But if forced to pick, well, the answer would be obvious: his patrons wife!
“She is Vittoria and justly crowned, As one to victory and triumph born.
Where’er she walks, the laurel-leaves abound.”
This whole bit fills the first twenty plus stanzas of the canto. Once that’s done, it’s back to our story…
We pick up where we left off with Bradamante, Marfisa, Ruggiero reconciled and preparing to split up. They had heard a shout in the woods and gone off to investigate. And promptly came upon Ullania (handmaid of the Queen of Iceland) and maids. They’d been beaten, whipped, and had their skirts cut short up to the “umbilical”. Exposed, they try to cover up. Bradamante recognizes Ullania and wants to know what happened. And the tale is a familiar one: an awful kingdom ruled by a vicious tyrant with inhuman laws did this to them. Where’s the kingdom? Just over there.
And so…
And so, our heroes find some clothes for Ullania and her maids, and all set off for this awful kingdom. When they get close they reach a village full of sad women, and there they learn more about this vicious tyrant by the name of Marganor. Marganor HATES women and forbids any to come into his kingdom. Those who do arrive must be beaten or killed. Meanwhile the village men are forbidden to go near their wives and if Marganor learns of any who do it’s more beating and killing ensues.
Our heroes are like WTF? So the villagers give some backstory for Marganor because of course they do.
Marganor had two sons: Cilandro and Tanacro, who were really good boys until they met women and became rapists. Not that Ariosto calls them that, but that’s pretty much what they are.
First Cilandro falls for a Greek lady and tries to assault her, but gets killed by her knight protector. Marganor falls sad, but at least he has another son. But soon Tanacro falls for a Byzantine lady, Drusilla. She’s already married to a knight named Olindro, but Tanacro doesn’t care. He figures that Cilandro failed because of a lack of planning, so he decides to smarter in his assualt attempt. He sets up an ambush, kills Olindro, and would do the deed with Drusilla there except she pitches herself off a cliff. Only she doesn’t die, but survives. Tanacro brings her back to the castle where he pays to have her treated. In time she heals, and Tanacro presses for marriage. Drusilla agrees, but only as it suits her desire for revenge. She gets some poison and concocts a ritual where she and Tanacro need to drink before her late husband’s tomb. Tanacro agrees and this gets worked into the wedding ceremony. They drink their cup in front of everyone. Drusilla reveals the cup was poisoned. Tanacro dies. Drusilla dies. Marganor does a misogyny and starts killing every women in the church. (He even assaults Drusilla’s dead body.) After that he starts making his decrees banishing women from the kingdom and saying he’ll kill any knight who comes here with one.
Well, our heroes hear all this and think, yeah, we need to stop this. So when morning comes off they ride straight for Marganor’s castle. On the way they come upon a bunch of soldiers escorting an old woman under guard. Turns out that’s Drusilla’s maid (and the one who brewed the poison) and they’re bringing her back to be tortured. Our heroes ride straight into the soldiers and start killing. They free the old woman, then continue on to the castle. Where by now Marganor has had time to march out with his troops.
But, c’mon, this is Bradamante, Marfisa, and Ruggiero.
First, Marfisa charges straight at Marganor and punches him straight in the face. Then Bradamante and Ruggiero charge and clean up all the soldiers. That done, they don’t kill Marganor but strip him naked and have every in the kingdom come around and abuse him. Kids throw rocks at him. Maidens heap garbage in his face. The old women poke him with sharp sticks and Ullania kills him by making him jump from a high tower. After all this Marfisa writes some new laws that put wives in charge of husbands. She says she’ll be back to check if they’re followed. We’ll see if that ever happens. Deeds done the heroes ride forth, making haste to the crossroads where they part and the canto ends.
See you next time! Until then enjoy this knight riding a wolf. A whole nickel to anyone who can guess what canto it’s an illustration from.
CANTO SCORE CARD
KNIGHTS: Bradamante, Marifisa, Ruggiero, Marganor (Cruel Tyrant), Cilandro and Tanacro (Marganor’s rapist sons), Olindro
DAMSELS: Ullania, Drusilla,
HORSES: Frontino (Ruggiero’s horse)
MONSTERS: King Marganor and his rapey sons Cilandro and Tanacro
MAGIC ITEMS: Bradamante’s golden lance, Ruggiero’s everything
Orlando Furioso, Canto XXXVI
Guess what?
We only have ten cantos left!
Ariosto is in full on tie loose ends together mode. Or sort of. Narrative conclusion is not something he’s worried about. A few characters have simply walked out of the story because he might have been sick of writing them.
Honestly, I feel like they’re the true winners here.
But on to our canto…
Ariosto starts with more of that D’Este hagiography. Except it’s not really fun stuff. It’s a pretty grisly retelling of how his patron’s son was captured by Slavic mercenaries and killed by having his head chopped off. It made me think what it must have been like to live at a time when capital punishment was done on the regular in front of audiences. So many people must have walked around with PTSD simply from stopping by the marketplace. This also helps Ariosto highlight his own chivalric fairy tale and say how knights of old weren’t like the thugs with swords now a days.
Back to the tale…
Serpentino, Grandonio, and Ferrau all gather together and wonder at who the knight might be that defeated them. Ferrau figures out it must be Bradamante, and at this love once more rekindles in Ruggiero’s breast. But why has she come to challenge me? This makes him pause as he ponders what to do, and gives Marfisa the chance to get out there and try her hand against this unbeatable Christian knight.
Bradamante welcomes her and asks her name. Marfisa tells her. Bradamante gets filled with hate. Here’s the very woman who stole Ruggiero’s heart. And BANG! Marfisa is knocked from the saddle, but it’s not enough to stop her. It’s another slam bang duel between named characters. And now a crowd’s starting to gather because these two aren’t dueling any more as waging one-person war upon each other. Which makes all the gathered knights decide it’s time the war resumed, and so trumpets sound.
Ruggiero’s watched all this and realizes he loves both women, if not in the same way, and he would give anything for them to stop fighting – but honor dictates the duel continues. Except once the mass battle begins there are too many people on the field for Marfisa and Bradamante to continue their fight. Ruggiero rides out with the rest of the soldiers, and Bradamante sees him and charges. Words get spoken. Accusations made. But when the time comes to attack, she can’t do it. Ruggiero wants an explanation and Bradamante can’t answer him. She rides off. He pursues. They end up in a grove beside a tomb.
Marfisa sees all this and follows. The three meet in the woods. Bradamante sees Marfisa and makes more accusations. Marfisa won’t stand for it. The duel once more ensues. Ruggiero tries shouting, “Ladies! Ladies!” but there’s nothing for it. The women are going to kill each other. Ruggiero can’t let that happen. He gets between them and pulls them apart. Marfisa can’t believe he would do such a thing and turns on him. “You are discourteous, you are uncouth,” she says. And then she attacks him. This makes Ruggiero angry and he counter attacks. He would have killed Marfisa but his sword strikes a tree.
And that’s when things get crazy.
The ground shakes. A voice cries out. It is the inhabitant of the nameless tomb. They command Ruggiero and Marfisa to cease their fighting. Why? Because the tomb is their mom’s and they’re actually brother and sister!
Back story ensues and it’s cribbed from classical sources, but instead of being about Theseus or Perseus it’s about Ruggiero and Marfisa. And the truth about King Agramante’s involvement in killing their dad is revealed. And there’s a prophecy! Ruggiero will die if he becomes a Christian and that’s why she had the wizard Atalante put him in the Knight Motel (remember that?) Back story finished everyone is happy. Marfisa and Ruggiero cease their fight. Bradamante forgives Ruggiero. The mom ghost disappears her duty done, but the matter of whether Ruggiero should abandon King Agramante or not remains. Honor dictates he can’t despite everything. But he’ll keep his eye out for a loop-hole by which he can abandon the cause without any slight to his honor. Bradamante’s sad. Marfisa tells her not to worry. Ruggiero gets ready to ride back to the army. And then a woman’s voice cries out from deeper inside the wood.
Who can it be?
Maybe we’ll find out in the next canto.
Ten more to go!
CANTO SCORE CARD
KNIGHTS: Ferrufino and Cantelmo (real life sons of the duke, Cantelmo was the one beheaded), Serpentino, Grandonio, Ferrau, Ruggiero, Marfisa, Bradamante, a bunch of people in Ruggiero’s mom’s back story
HORSES: Rabicano (still Bradamante’s)
MONSTERS: Mom Ghost
MAGIC ITEMS: Bradamate’s Golden Lance, Ruggiero’s sword
Yesterweird 